I have spent a majority of this pregnancy complaining. There I said it out loud….I’m not proud of this fact but its true. I know I shouldn’t, and believe me, I’ve been praying every day for God to help me keep perspective and lose those last moments of selfishness.
So many women have told me how much they loved being pregnant, I have come to the conclusion that I am too much of a realist to really appreciate the nuances of growing a child. I’m also still too young to appreciate getting up early (by early I mean before 8AM). I am much more excited about when the actually kiddo arrives. When we find out who it is that has been kicking and punching my insides. Who it is that’s been dancing on my bladder and making my ankle swell to the size of tree trunks. I am excited to know if its a boy…or a girl. We will find out in about 4 weeks, if all things go as planned. And it better.
I fear photos of myself, even before I was pregnant I never thought of myself as great in front of the camera so I would generally avoid it. Being pregnant has held a magnifying glass to alllllllll the insecurities that I have about my body (again not proud to admit that either). I battled with getting “maternity” photos done, simply because I didn’t want to face my fears. I didn’t want to see what I looked like in an image ~ which seems so silly because I feel like I’m always encouraging others to face their fear of photos when I can’t even do the same. My good friend Lisa wanted to do some photos….and I wanted her too…but I knew that if I was going to do this I needed to swallow my pride and face those fears.
Looking at them now, I am so glad that I was able to push those fears aside for about 2 hours so we could capture these images. Lisa did such and amazing job, I can’t even begin to tell you what a gift she has. I know that I will look back on these photos and not see my insecurity but I will see the anticipation and excitement of the fact that we are waiting for the biggest gift God could ever give us. Our baby.
Can’t wait to meet him/her.
And I am still a work in progress. I know we’ll learn how to be parents. We will grow into it, over time, by the grace of God.
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