I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’d want to do or say on my birthday. In so many ways it really just feels like another day, nothing to celebrate. Don’t get me wrong, its not that I don’t want to celebrate, but my birthday feels lost in the impending holiday season much of the time. Easy to overlook, or get to busy to pause and feel grateful that I survived another year. And, lets be honest, I’m not even actually writing this post on my birthday. I’m writing it the week before. Man it feels so strange to talk about myself THIS much, but if I can’t do it on my birthday, when can I?
Too often I lose sight of who I am because of the different hats I wear. A wife, a mother, a friend, a co-worker, a daughter, a sister, a small business owner, a photographer. I know I have a gracious heart towards those around me (and sometimes to a fault) but because of that my voice gets lots and I choose to allow others to have their thoughts or opinions over mine. All too often I choose to listen rather than be heard.
SO today I take a look at my own voice, and my own goals about who I want to be in the coming year.
- Family First. I know we all say this. But what this means to me is at 3:30 when I pick up my son I put him above work. In the evening I have quality time with my husband, not my computer. I don’t want my family to have to fight for my attention. How can I communicate to those boys that they are my number one?
- Have a better understanding of the power of the written word. I want to read more. I want to take a writing class so I can learn to communicate more effectively. I used to journal like, everyday) and since getting married and having a child that practice has fallen silent. What was once a lifeline now sits quietly on my bedside table. How amazing would it be to have that book come alive with my thoughts once again.
- Film. I’ve pushed myself in film these last three years, and I’ve slowly moved to shoot time with my family clients. The most appropriate word here has been transition. Some photographers jump right in, sink or swim, and I’m just not built that way. I take it slow; and I want to look back a year from now and see my portfolio of film only work grow exponentially.
I know that there are so many more things I can do to make myself a better person. But these are the big ones, and I have to write them down, talk about them and chew on them just a bit, or things will never change. I will be the same person I am right now (which isn’t bad) and I long to grow.
So, go ahead and bring what you need to Thirty Eight. I’m ready for you.
**Thank you Candice Hackett of Ivy & Tweed for such a fun photo this summer!**