Today you are a three year old little man…but to me you will always be my little boy. I remember when you were first born, those long nights of being a new mom, when I would go into your room in the middle of the night to feed you and rock you back to sleep. I wept over you when you were so small, knowing and anticipating all that you would become. I was scared for all the times that I knewI would fail as a parent and that you, being a child and knowing no different, would still extend grace and forgiveness without realizing it.
When I was younger I feared bringing a child into the world…because I saw all the devastation that is around me. I remember the hurts that I had and knew that I didn’t want to expose a child to that. But then you came…and I learned a that I had this fierce desire to protect you and teach you how to take in the world without allowing it to overwhelm you.
Taylor, you are my wild child, my source of energy and exhaustion. Your laughter is music to my ears and your tears break my heart. I watch you work so hard to understand the world around you, and its just beyond your grasp but I know that you will one day understand. It amazes me that you are learning to communicate your feelings, that you recognize when you are sad, or angry, or your feelings are hurt. I love that you give a hug when you apologize after being naughty. I love that sometimes you put bear in a time out when you feel like you need to be “in charge” or when you boss Toby around because he isn’t listening.
But most of all Taylor, I want you to know that I will love you all the time. Even when I am mad at you, I love you all the time. When its raining and we can’t go outside and look for worms, I still love you. I will love you when we laugh and when we cry and when we’ve had a good day and when we’ve had a bad day. You are my little boy, you are my baby and nothing will ever change that.
I love you MORE Taylor.